Sunday, February 18, 2007

Hey! It's The Selections From Tron Happy Anniversary Show!

FADE IN. A murkily-lit stage covered with guitars, keyboards, cellos, vibraphones, glass harmonicas, tin-whistles, double-belled euphoniums, zithers, amplifiers and miles of black cords. Eerie blue spotlight snaps onto a bare spot on the stage: dust motes bob and circle.

DUSTMOTE BOB: Well, it's been a hellofa first year here at 'Selections From Tron.' Lotta ins, lotta outs. But, as The Book says, "The Carrier must bear the major part of the responsiblity for search and apprehension; Recos were too slow and short-range to be of much use."


DUSTMOTE BOB: We've got a lot of people we'd like to thank, and some of them aren't even people. Like Geko The Wonder Pooch our new lovable mascot! Say 'Hi' to the people, Geko!


DUSTMOTE BOB: Aww! Don't that just melt your heart?


CUT TO: Slim Hobo kicking a can along a concrete culvert. Hobo looks up and smiles.

HOBO SLIM: Yep, even us Hobos got some lovin.

CUT TO: grainy 1970s home movie quality footage of Hobo Slim swiping pies offa Mrs. Fitzhenry's curtained windowsill

HOBO SLIM VOICE OVER: Readin' that 'Selections From Tron' entry about Hobos was about the best damn time I ever had.

CUT TO: Olde-Tymey Fiddle Music and Scratchy Black & White 1920s style animation: Hobo Slim with a big fat belly sittin' on a hilltop muzzling moonshine from a gallon jug marked 'XXX' and chowin' down on a giant platter of fried chicken.

CUT TO: grainy 1970s home movie footage of Hobo Slim standing in Mrs. Fitzhenry's garden, rubbing his chin.

CUT TO: The stage and the instruments. DUSTMOTE CIRCLE pushes past DUSTMOTE BOB.

DUSTMOTE CIRCLE: You know, I'm really feeling marginalized here. I mean, I don't know what your policy is toward dustmites but I feel I have to tell you we have a really powerful union.

AGP (stepping from behind the black velevt stage curtain): I'm sorry, Dustmote Circle. What can I do personally as a human being to make you feel 10,000% better?

DUSTMOTE CIRCLE: I... you think... would it be okay if The Selections From Tron Band played a song I wrote?

AGP: You got it, Pal. Hit it!

On stage all the instruments start playing by themselves. First, a single guitar string plucks, sending up clouds of dust. Then a piano note. The instruments play slowly and quietly at first and then build, Orchestral Sweeping strings and delicate burbling melody, building, dust flying, dust clouds everywhere, massive bass drum and cymbols, alpine horn, gong.


At 10:12 PM, Blogger Gillian said...

Happy anniversary, Selections From Tron! Thanks for a year's worth of tasty science-fictialicious humour.

At 8:54 AM, Blogger AGP said...

Thanks, Gillian! I have a feeling 2007 is going to be The Year of The Tron!

Yeah, I know. In The Chinese Calendar, 2007 is already the Year of The Pig.

{Mayor Quimby: "It can be two things."{/Mayor Quimby}


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